


six seconds of life

by EyeOfKaleidoscope



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Fluff and Crack, M/M, Post-Canon, Social Media, Somewhat crack, mutual bonding over how amazing social media is, phichit is mediasexual it's canon, phichit is too attached, sort of wedding, vine death fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-08
Updated: 2017-02-08
Packaged: 2018-09-21 22:33:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,990
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9569684
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EyeOfKaleidoscope/pseuds/EyeOfKaleidoscope
Summary: Phichit mourns the loss of Vine (he even plans a funeral).





	

**Author's Note:**

> Assuming that the show took place roughly around the same time it was actually published, the GPF probably would've taken place around the same time it was announced that Vine is being shut down. I don't know exact dates for either occurrence, but I have creative license and am addicted to fluff, so...
> 
> I can totally imagine Phichit having a melt down over this.
> 
> Sorry for any errors in Thai or Russian. I'm a native English speaker who can speak at second grade level in Chinese, so...not really helpful in all the fun languages. Online translating websites...aren't the best sources.
> 
> Also I'm still not clear on the process of qualifying for different competitions, so here, a skater has to place top three in Grand Prix or participate in their nation's Nationals (and win/place) before they can qualify for either European or Four Continents. That's my assumption of how this stuff works anyways.

Viktor would say that he knows his fiancé's (he still feels giddy every time he thinks about the ring on his finger, like a can of soda that's been shaken for a full minute) best friend quite well, and the only reason he would is because Phichit doesn't understand the distinction between a personal life and a  _personal_ life.

His Instagram videos show everything short of a full-on porno.

Of course, Viktor gives Phichit the benefit of the doubt. After all, the Thai skater  _is_ Yuuri's best friend, held on the same level as Yuuko and Takeshi. Besides, Viktor's been "friends" with Phichit on Facebook for years now. Maybe Phichit just needs a stern talking to about the do's and don't's of what to post onto an account that millions of people are able to see worldwide.

Obviously, that never happens.

The next time Viktor sees Phichit after the GPF (a secret rendezvous to plan Viktor's _official_ proposal for Yuuri's hand in marriage),  Phichit has gotten even worse. His Throwback Thursday that week is the picture he had taken way back when Yuuri first introduced them over hotpot, just a month or so ago. The only change to this post is the giant (and sloppy) censor bar over the right side of the screen, not covering Viktor's telltale silver hair and Yuuri's glasses. A blocky white "R" sits in the middle of the censor bar, and Viktor only finds out about the post when Yuuri bursts into his room with his phone clutched in trembling hand, blushing a red brighter than the lobster his mother shells daily.

The picture ends up going viral with more than sixty million views, half the amount of shares, and triple the amount of likes in less than three days. 

"Viktor?"

The man in question blinks, glancing down at the content man curled up into his side. Yuuri's put on some weight since the end of Grand Prix, especially considering that the both of them will be missing large-scale competitions-Viktor's giving up on reentering the skating world until Worlds while Yuuri's skipping out on Four Continents in favor of getting married. Yuuri still has his green card from his time in Detroit, and Viktor's been working on getting the paperwork all filled out so that they can legally marry in the US. Besides, Viktor's always been partial to California. A beach wedding with a roaring bachelor party in LA-now,  _that's_ something that Viktor can get behind. "What is it,  _lyubov moya_?"

"What're you thinking about?" Yuuri's unfocused eyes slide past Viktor's face to latch onto a poster of him over Viktor's shoulders. Even with his face only inches away from Viktor, Yuuri can't make out much beyond distinguishable colors. Apparently, Viktor's skin and hair blend together too much.

Viktor laughs, tugging Yuuri onto his lap and resting his chin on Yuuri's shoulder. "I was thinking that if Phichit really wanted to, he could amass an army of social media zombies and take over the whole world."

Yuuri's silent for a few moments before he laughs and leans back into Viktor's embrace, a fondly placating smile stretching his face. "I'm sure he could, Viktor."

Viktor doesn't particularly care, as long as Yuuri stays in his arms for the rest of eternity.

* * *

Phichit's a real wingman.

Not one of those fake ones, who'll pretend they're greasing her up for you until you walk up and accidentally spill your drink on her, just as planned, and then  _she_ screams at  _you_ for being an asshole while that "wingman" of your's walks away with his hand on her ass and the dirtiest smirk you've ever seen on his face.

No, Phichit's a  _real_ wingman, through and through, so loyal to his ships that he'll be matchmaking whether you want it or not.

Of course, that just  _begs_ the question-who's Phichit's wingman?

Viktor finds out that there's a reason why Phichit's single.

"Why would I ever need a girlfriend, _pêe s ăo_?" Phichit whines into his phone while Viktor and Yuuri snicker in the background. The Thai skater is empathetically waving his hands around, somehow managing to keep his phone trapped in between his ears and shoulders and not jostling the multitudes of hamsters laying all over his body simultaneously. "Or a boyfriend, for that matter." He pauses, typing something into his computer before he rolls his eyes. "I  _know_ that Yuuri and Viktor are very happy, they're literally canoodling less than a meter away." Phichit sighs, glancing up at the two of them, fond annoyance glowing in his dark eyes. "My older sister says hi. She also asks if both of you would be willing to give her an autograph." He pauses, frowning. "No, I am  _not_ asking my best friend and is fiancé to sign your cat. No, I don't  _care_ that he's half bald. No, I highly doubt that Viktor would be willing to  _elope_ with you." Yuuri makes this half choking, half coughing hack, and Viktor looks down at him in worry (and panic) only to find Yuuri convulsing in laughter. "Yes, Yuuri did hear that. He's dying of laughter. I'll be sure to tell the press that it's all your fault when he stops breathing. Mhmm. Are we still on this? I  _told_ you, I don't need a girlfriend-or a boyfriend, thank you very much-because I am married to my Instagram!" Phichit shifts the phone into a more comfortable position on his shoulder, lightly scratching one of his hamster's back. "Okay, so I'm also married to Twitter. And Facebook. And WeChat. And Snapchat. And Vine. Polygamy's a thing. It may not be  _legal_ , but it's a thing. Stop insulting my spouses! They're very sensitive! Especially Tumblr." Phichit grins. "Ooh. Sick burn. I should totally use that next time." Phichit pulls the phone out from in between his cheek and his shoulder, holding it up to his ear. His expression sobers slightly, and Viktor wonders whether he should be listening to this. "Look, I appreciate you checking up on me...no, really. I miss you,  _pêe s ăo. _But I'm perfectly fine with being single. I have everything I need in life...a stable job, good friends, and social media." Phichit laughs, bright and bubbly, glancing up and catching Viktor's eye. He shakes his head, lightly flicking his wrist up and down, telling them to stay. Viktor feels warm and very, very touched. "You know that you'll be the first to know if I find someone. Well, maybe second to Yuuri." He laughs again. "Mhmm. Yeah. All right. I'll remember. Thanks for picking up. I know it's pretty early over there. Yeah, no problem! I've gotten so used to English, it's practically second nature by now. I could understand you perfectly well. People in America are used to accents, don't worry. Yeah,  _especially_ in New York. You'll fit in in no time! Congratulations on landing that job, by the way.  _Mâe_ told me. They're lucky to have such a great writer on hand. Anyone giving you trouble? You let them know that your little brother's Phichit Chulanont, and he's got eight million followers across every social media platform. Yeah. They'll be shaking in their Toms. Yes, boys can wear Toms. They're  _super_ comfortable. No, buy your own. I am  _not_ shipping my super comfortable Toms to you from halfway across the world! No. Shut up, I'm giving you exclusive autographs from Katsuki Yuuri and Viktor Nikiforov. Yeah, brag about  _that_ to your co-workers instead of about stealing your poor little brother's shoes. Mhmm. You should probably go to sleep soon. Oh, you need to go to work? Wait...isn't it, like, five over there? And you need to go to work? That sucks. All right. Good luck today. You'll blow them out of their shoes. Then you can steal those instead of my Toms. Yeah, I'll send the invite over. I'm sure Yuuri'll be happy to have you there!" Phichit glances back at Yuuri, who quickly nods, smiling encouragingly at Phichit, who grins. "Yeah, he's practically a bobblehead right now with how much he's nodding. Mhmm. A couple of months? I don't think the details are fully sorted out yet. Yeah, I'll come visit when I have time. I'm excited to see whether you've improved your axel yet. Remember last time?" Phichit laughs, barely managing to spit the words out. "You- _ha_ -face-planted in front of- _ha_ -that ' _totally_ cute and sexy guy'- _ha_ -and you were taken to the clinic by- _ha_ -his best friend! He even wrote his phone number on the band-aid...now  _that_ was a disaster. Hopefully this time it'll go better." Phichit's wide smile softens, and he tenderly cradles the phone in his hand as he murmurs, " _P̄hm rạk khuṇ_ _._ "  


Phichit ends the call, setting his phone down to the side. Yuuri murmurs softly, "You got married and didn't tell me?"

Phichit grins, eyes glistening slightly. "You never did like them anyways."

Yuuri laughs.

* * *

Viktor, Yuuri, and Phichit are in a fancy, brand name clothing store getting their measurements for custom suits when the news hits.

Phichit screams like a banshee, startling the girl who, in Viktor's humble opinion, is spending _way_ too long measuring Yuuri's waistline and thigh circumference (is that even required?). She snaps some words in Japanese that are probably dirty curses if Yuuri's muffled cough is anything to go by. She's picking up and untangling the measuring strings when Phichit lets out another ungodly shriek, swaying on his feet and collapsing.

Viktor, who's more worried about Phichit pulling a _fainting_ spill out of nowhere than the grumbling seamstress, rushes over to Phichit, kneeling down next to him and lightly resting his fingers against under Phichit's jaw, right over major vein. He lets out a sigh of relief when he feels it pulsing under his fingers. Imagine having _that_ conversation with Yuuri. _"So, yeah, I know you just saw your best friend collapse for no reason after screaming loud enough to burst your eardrums, and I know you're really worried, and you have every right to be because he's dead."_

That wouldn't go over so well.

"Phichit-kun? Are you okay?" Yuuri covers the distance in between him and Phichit in three strides, dropping down next to Phichit and pillowing the Thai skater's heads on his thighs. Phichit's eyes snap open, and Viktor jerks back at the tears that are welling up in his eyes.

"Umm...Phichit?"

"She's gone!" Phichit moans, throwing his hands up over his face and sobbing brokenly. "She's dead. Goodbye, cruel world. Vine is being replaced by a sheer mockery. My soul weeps and bemoans the death of my beloved. And so I bid adieu...fucking Twitter."

Yuuri and Viktor exchange looks over Phichit's prone body. Yuuri is biting his lip, trying his hardest not to burst into laughter. Viktor is dumbfounded, torn between genuinely comforting Phichit, laughing over the ridiculousness of the situation, and slapping Phichit upside the head for worrying both of them so much.

"Vine...my beloved Vine..." Phichit cries, turning into Yuuri's body and curling up. Viktor tenses up, hyperaware of where exactly Phichit's face currently lies and what he's practically nuzzling. Yuuri shoots him this horrible look-a shrug and a somewhat-but-not-really apologetic glance. "'Till death do us part...but it's too soon! We've been together for four years...four years...some of the most glorious six seconds of my life were with you! And now you're gone."

The three end up going home four hours later with only Viktor's measurements finished and a disgruntled worker's phone number destined for the shredder in Viktor's pocket.

* * *

Phichit's spent a week in New York when Yuuri comes upstairs with a constipated look on his face and a fancy cream envelope. The words _Katsuki Family + Viktor_ are written across the front in an elegant script that _definitely_ is not Phichit's writing. 

"He wants us to write a eulogy," Yuuri manages to choke out before collapsing onto the bed and thrusting his head into the pillow, none of which is able to muffle the hysterics that take place immediately thereafter. Viktor flips open the flap, sliding out the even more fancy papyrus card within.

_Phichit Chulanont cordially invites you to the funeral of Vine. This event will take place on the Saturday of 4 February, 2017 on Santa Monica Beach from 3-9 PM._

"That's a day before our wedding," Viktor breaths, half in amazement, half in disbelief. 

"Keep reading," Yuuri just barely manages to gasp out.

_Please, bring your phones with you, as they will want a chance to mourn for their beloved app. Viktor Nikiforov and Katsuki Yuuri will be giving eulogies along with I. Please RSVP by January 5th._

"Did he just...?" Viktor gapes at the parchment in his hands, wondering how someone like Yuuri ever became friends with someone like Phichit.

"Throw us to the wolves? Yes, he did." Yuuri sounds absolutely miserable. "But I already told him that we'd be coming."

"You _what_?"

"It's not like we have an excuse. We'll be in town for our wedding anyways. Phichit's smart like that."

"He's an ass like that," Viktor grumbles under his breath.

"Viktor!"

The Russian skater ends up adding one more thing onto a growing list of "Things about Phichit that Annoy Viktor Nikiforov.

_Number ???: He made Viktor sleep on the couch tonight._

* * *

 

The entire affair is a ridiculously somber event. Viktor sees close friends, friends, acquaintances, and strangers within seconds of stepping out of the rental car. Yuuri hides himself behind Viktor, shyly squeaking out greetings to any person brave enough to approach Viktor and ask for an autograph or a hug or a sniff.

Weirder things have happened.

They don't end up seeing Phichit until five minutes before the start of service, and by then Phichit likes tired, worn out, and more than sad. Viktor feels sort of guilty about the fact that everyone else is so clearly humoring the Thai skater, but then he pulls on a sunny smile and runs towards Yuuri, gushing about how thankful he is that Yuuri agreed to help host the service with him and that the majority of the people who showed up only came because they had said that Viktor Nikiforov would be there.

Yuuri looks sheepish when Viktor glares at him, and he has the decency to mouth, "Sorry," before Phichit drags him off to who knows where.

Apparently, no priest had wanted to speak at the funeral for a social media app even though Phichit had offered a few thousand dollars, so the service consists of only eulogies. Yuuri goes first. His speech is stilted and awkward, and it's extremely obvious that he doesn't want to be standing up there with a whole bunch of strangers staring at him while he laments the loss of six second videos. Phichit claps the most enthusiastically, and he side-hugs Yuuri once he steps back into the crowd, shaking and hyperventilating.

Viktor has to be reassured multiple times by Phichit, Christophe, and a few other random people surrounding Yuuri that his fiancé is fine before he can step up to the makeshift stage which is really just a bunch of straw pallets duct taped together. He turns on his megawatt smile and completely bullshits his way through the entire speech. At the end, he receives a standing ovation, and he swears that Phichit wipes away a few tears before he steps down and joins a beaming Yuuri who has this _I-know-what-you-just-did_ look in his eyes.

Phichit steps up onstage, and he's practically glowing as he looks around the crowd. "All right, so I'm going to be frank with all you guys. I know that a third of you are only here because of Viktor, and a quarter of you are here because you want to be polite. Four twelfths of you showed up because you're absolutely _amazing_ friends, and the rest of you just want the free drinks." Relieved laughter whispers through the crowd, and tense shoulders relax under the realization that Phichit already knows. They don't have to keep pretending. "And honestly, it kind of hurts. Just a little, but it's not like I could've expected any of you to care about Vine the way I do. To be honest, it's not even about Vine in particular, but just social media in general. See, back in Thailand, I never really had access to computer, or wi-fi, or anything fancy like that. I'm one son among _many_ , and that's not even counting all my crazy sisters. My parents were struggling just to make ends meet. It was a miracle that I was even able to pick up ice skating as a hobby. Skates these days range from hundreds of dollars to thousands, and then there's all the extra sutff. I'm one of the lucky few who managed to get scouted by a good coach and worked hard enough to step out onto the international stage. I'm proud of what I've done-for myself, my family, and for Thailand. And social media-that's what _connects_ me. When it's late at night here in America and I'm feeling lonely-just hop onto Instagram and look at what my sisters are doing. Check Snapchat-my brothers are posting all the dumb shit they think is cool on there. Facebook, Vine, Youtube-they all connect me to my roots. You know? It's kind of hard to let go. So I was truly very sad when I found out that Vine was being torn down by Twitter. But I'm grateful that you guys all showed up. It really...means a lot to me."

This time, the cheers are more genuine, and Phichit isn't the only one crying at the end.

* * *

Viktor's mother and father are absolutely horrified when they show up to the wedding and find that almost everybody there, including the grooms themselves, are sporting hangovers.

(Viktor doesn't think that the beach will be clean of vomit for a very long time.)

**Author's Note:**

> I feel like Phichit is underrated-not his character, but his significance. He literally rewrote history by being the first Thai skater to qualify for Grand Prix, or something along those lines. He represents Thailand. Instead, he's been relegated the role of "side-kick," "wing-man," or "matchmaker." Don't get me wrong, I love those kinds of fics. I personally think that Phichit needs to be seen as more than just an accessory to the main plot.


End file.
